Taking a Bullet for my Bosses

I'm writing this during my spare time. I asked my Bosses if I could please write this during work, but they said no because there's a lot of other important work I need to be doing.

I'm afraid. Really, really afraid. Yesterday when I started working I saw the Boss' blog post about Sarah Palin's affair, and I actually got worried about getting sued. They were saying I wrote it! So I thought about quitting MannDubinBlog. I even mentioned something to the Bosses, but they told me I couldn't quit. If I did, they said, "your dad won't love you and he'll probably adopt us as his children to replace you." I talked to my dad. He said pretty much the same thing, except in less pleasant language. I hate when dad drinks.

That said, my fear has gone from being sued to being murdered by an Alaskan hit man. Now that the Bosses are putting the word out that I wrote the article about Sarah Palin there's an even higher price on my head. I overheard a phone call earlier today when I was hanging around outside their office.


MannDubinBlog: "MannDubinBlog, what can we do for you?"
Alaskan Hit Man: "Me's bean hard buh Guvnah Miss Sarah to took curr the fellas dat wrote dem lies inyer website"
MDB: "Sorry sir, but the man you're looking for is our intern. He sometimes forgets his place here and feels he can write whatever he wants, and then put our name on it. We'll take care of him for you."
AHM: "'tis I dat's sorry. Guvnah Sarah sed none dem scuses'll repair her reptation fer yer millyunsa readas"
MDB: "Well you're right about our millions of readers, can we give you the interns address?"
AHM: "t'll be fine, but i'll still hafta take care of yous"
MDB: "We totally understand, sir. But just promise that you'll take care of the intern first so we can blog about it"
AHM: "t'll be fine, Miss Sarah sh'unt have problem with that. let's get his add-ress now"

So I called my dad. Dad had been drinking again, so I got the expected response. Something like, "...so damn expensive," "...never loved...anyway," "...get me a beer...stupid slut."

What am I supposed to do? I can't hide because the renaissance festival folks know me around the country, and I'll have MannDubinBlog's fans looking for me around the world. I'm afraid guys. Really afraid.